Avoidance Mode

We’re all familiar with what we’re told not to do, what to avoid, while pregnant. Regardless of the type care provider you choose, you are going to get the run-down.  Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs, check before taking any medications, stay away from certain types of fish, get off that roller coaster, yada, yada, yada, you all know the drill.  There are also some things that can come up depending on what’s happening during the pregnancy, for example, if you are in pre-term labor and on bed-rest like I was with my first, then you have to avoid pretty much everything, including sex.  Then there are things you end up avoiding because, well, they make you vomit.  I couldn’t eat eggs with my first, they made me violently ill.  

Here are some other things I avoided:  I avoided exercise.  Not just while I was on bed-rest, but the whole time.  I counted having a toddler as exercise with my second.  Not so much the same thing, turns out.  Being in better shape would have made everything from delivery to post-partum recovery easier on my body. I avoided maternity clothes with the first one.  True story.  I wore my regular clothes until it was absolutely not possible any more.  I felt “fat”… uh, duh, hi, you’re pregnant.  When the second one rolled around I jumped in to the maternity clothes pretty much right after I found out - that was better.  I avoided getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight with any kind of ease by knocking back homemade chocolate milkshakes like they were water.  Both times.  Think I was downing at least two of those bad-boys a day.  In retrospect, probably could have exercised a little *cough* more restraint in that department.  Let’s see, with the first one, I also avoided making good use of my time and it could be argued, good taste, by watching marathons of MTV’s Real World and Jerry Springer episodes.  Ten weeks of bed-rest = not as much fun as you might think. 
I avoided sleep for the last 3 weeks during both pregnancies, because I had heartburn so severe that it would have killed a rhino.  I don’t even know what that means, it was bad, let’s just put it that way.  Not sleeping wasn’t such a great idea though, as it left me exhausted even before delivering. 

Moral of the story: drugs/alcohol are bad. So, apparently, is chugging milkshakes while watching mindless drivel sitting in bed all day and all night, in really not fitting any more size 4 jeans.  Just sayin.